Chuck Norris vs. Bear Grylls

[DEATHSTAR]

One guy is a Marial Artist best known for a slew of cheesy action movies the other; survives in the wild often killing animals and eating their flesh without even cooking it in many cases.

[Blinger101]

Case in point:

http://www.stitthappens.com/images/random/bear_grylls_mordor.jpg

[DEATHSTAR]

Plus his son's name is Marmaduke!!!

Phatality.com describes him as such:
Bear Grylls however is not a bear. Bear Grylls the man was born on the beaches of Normandy on June 6, 1944 but through his superb diet and exercise routine is currently only 34 years old.

Bear enjoys swimming in frozen lakes, sleeping in tonton carcasses and killing innocent animals on cable TV. His favorite food is the small intestine of a camel and his favorite past time is making tents out of leaves and saliva.

Bear is proficient in many weapons including, but not limited to: knives, boomerangs, sharp pointy sticks, jagged rocks, smooth rocks, trees, dead animals, and his socks.

Better Photos Even:
In this one he had just killed a Yak and drank the blood streaming from it's jugular vein... for "protein"! He followed that up by skinning it and wearing it for the rest of the episode.
http://l.yimg.com/img.tv.yahoo.com/tv/us/img/site/82/87/0000048287_20080429175123.jpg

Note that this Zebra is decomposing and already half eaten by something else!
http://www.roadjunky.com/images/900.jpg

[Monkeylord]

Why is it so difficult to find people who can spell "TaunTaun" properly?



Regardless, I voted CN because I've never heard of the other guy.

Also, I came THIS close to picking these up today when i saw them in town...

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51YfPh4NFaL._SS500_.jpg

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51IOBJLzEPL._SS500_.jpg

[Tanooki]

Bear has survival instincts to do a bit of trapping, eat raw foods (animal, bug, plant) and probably could do a decent level of fighting to wrestle down that meal. Chuck though, he maybe older now, but he has a lot of survival instincts too, maybe eats some raw food I dunno, but he could punch a hole clean through Bear and have that as a snack. Chuck wins. Chuck may not if both were lost in the wild for around 2 weeks, not sure, but otherwise ya he'd win.

[virion]

bear grylls is the ****ing man..

here's a video to prove it.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8IYTOmK-uKs&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8IYTOmK-uKs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[DEATHSTAR]

bear grylls is the ****ing man..

here's a video to prove it.



LMAO! They had the format of the show and Bear's voice down to a T!!

[virion]

i know.. it is a perfect parody.

i love man vs. wild.. and 'survivor man'... those shows are the ****.

[DEATHSTAR]

Bear has survival instincts to do a bit of trapping, eat raw foods (animal, bug, plant) and probably could do a decent level of fighting to wrestle down that meal. Chuck though, he maybe older now, but he has a lot of survival instincts too, maybe eats some raw food I dunno, but he could punch a hole clean through Bear and have that as a snack. Chuck wins. Chuck may not if both were lost in the wild for around 2 weeks, not sure, but otherwise ya he'd win.

Bear Grylls would eat Chuck Norris literally.

[Lizzaroni]

Chuck Norris knows karate and established a cult of personality, that's it. Bear Grylls owns him in virtually every other capacity, including good looks.

[Blinger101]

Plus Bear has the accent.

[Smokey]

One guy is a Marial Artist best known for a slew of cheesy action movies the other; survives in the wild often killing animals and eating their flesh without even cooking it in many cases.

Cheesy action movies, maybe, but how many national karate tournaments has Bear won?

And can Bear piss his name in concrete? I rest my case.

[HGW XX/7]

^No, but he'll eat the concrete, then have himself willingly thrown out of a helicopter with a faulty parachute, only to land in a bear den, whereupon he would dominate nature.

Then Chuck Norris would cry. Curing cancer, sure, but he'd be a woman for it.

[DEATHSTAR]

Cheesy action movies, maybe, but how many national karate tournaments has Bear won?

And can Bear piss his name in concrete? I rest my case.

I've never been sold on "winning" karate or any fight in a controlled environment. I just don't believe that always translates 100% into real world fighting skills, some sure but not automatic badass status.

[thegamecubist]

I've never been sold on "winning" karate or any fight in a controlled environment.

*points to ITF Tae Kwon Do...those guys are monsters!*

Chuck Norris, if only for the legend factor. I'd say Bear but...it's Chuck Norris.

[Smokey]

^No, but he'll eat the concrete, then have himself willingly thrown out of a helicopter with a faulty parachute, only to land in a bear den, whereupon the crew would apply makeup, give Bear a steak dinner, and give him his lines about what he's supposed to do to the guy in the bear suit.

Fixed. Man vs Wild is such a crock. Besides, he hasn't had great experiences with parachutes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Grylls#Military), so I think a faulty parachute would be the last thing he wanted to use.:P

EDIT: Proof of crock-itude. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_Grylls#Criticism)

[DEATHSTAR]

^Well with that edit that would make him roughly equivalent to Chuck Norris right? Well maybe chuck has more experience wearing makeup and reading lines.... :)

[cooperthefool]

uh...Bear Grylls was in the special forces, you dont think he learned any chuck norris ass kicking moves?

[Tanooki]

Well Chuck founded his own entire style of legitimate fighting style many decades ago and mastered Tang Soo Do. He was military too, Airforce Police and MPs are a special breed of military you don't want to screw with as they're made to take down the rest of them when they're up to criminal crap. His karate record alone is crazy with 183-10-2 (w/l/tie) which is amazing so there's some skill there. And he also was with Tae Kwon Do given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master.

Something tells me he could kick Bear's ass, in particular in his younger days when he was Bear's current age.

[Smokey]

^Well with that edit that would make him roughly equivalent to Chuck Norris right? Well maybe chuck has more experience wearing makeup and reading lines.... :)

Except for the fact that Chuck Norris never professed to be doing something that he wasn't, like being in the wilderness and being cut off from all civilization when civilization is a hop, step, and a few hundred feet away.

Jeff is spot on with that stuff. I've done a lot of martial arts research (being a black belt myself, I've had plenty of occasions to do so), and Chuck Norris' name comes up A LOT. The man is a literal living legend. He's no Ashida Kim. But guess who's name I haven't found? No, if someone's getting his ass handed to him in a fight, it'll be Bear.

[HGW XX/7]

He is also a second dan black belt in Shotokan karate.

From your own source Smokey. I don't care if Chuck has more, but saying Bear has nothing is a joke.

Also in your parachute example, he lived through that. Chuck would've been worse off than 3 vertebrae.

[Smokey]

From your own source Smokey. I don't care if Chuck has more, but saying Bear has nothing is a joke.

But I haven't gone looking for info on Chuck Norris. He's just so recognized for his achievements that he comes up in other subjects. Again, guess who doesn't? Also, when you say "more", I'm not sure if you're speaking in terms of dans or belts, but Chuck does have more either way.

Also in your parachute example, he lived through that. Chuck would've been worse off than 3 vertebrae.

I was being more facetious than anything else (and that's how I am right now), but Chuck Norris doesn't need a parachute. He wouldn't fall out of a plane, either. **** it, Chuck Norris doesn't need an airplane. Chuck Norris taught the Wright Brothers to fly, except Orville needed a glider and an engine.

[Tanooki]

^Hah did you steal that 'fact' or make that one up as it's funny.

[Smokey]

That's mine, as far as I know. Glad you liked it.:D