Why Metallica can suck my hairy (bowling) ballbag

[blokeymon]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7598617.stm

Metallica have said they would "welcome" the leak of their latest album on the internet via filesharers, as it would get their album heard by more people, quicker.

YOU ****ING HYPOCRITICAL *******-ASS WHINING OLD ****ING BASTARDS.

With the advent of Napster and the appearance of sand in your wrinkled old vaginas, you essentially started the wave of shutting down file sharers, and turning people who exchanged music via this medium into goddamn criminals!

But no less than 15 years earlier, those very same people who were using the medium of audio cassette to exchange YOUR music with their friends and thereby catapulting you into the ****ing halls of metal stardom, you couldn't praise them enough! Oh no! You ****ing loved them for that! "Tape our records and pass them to your friends!" you screamed at concerts. And your loyal fans did just that!

But 15 years on, when you had made your money, you clamped down on them because for every $10,000,000 you made, you lost $100.

You ****ing cheapskate bastards.

But then you went down the rocky road of being ****, and you lost your edge. Your fans began leaving as you had started the trend of Status Quo Metal, and you sucked ass. Being diagnosed with cancer of the ****-end was preferable to many than being given a copy of "St Anger".

And now, in an attempt to claw back some fans and get some more money, you're welcoming the leak and sharing of your album.

**** you, Metallica. ****. You.

[prime_timer]

Harsh words son. Do kinda agree that that is some hypocritical ****.

****n metallica.

[virion]

**** metallica up the ass anyways. they are ****. 'you flush it out'.

[Smokey]

I like their music, at least the old stuff, and the new album isn't bad. With that said, I cannot agree more. I always thought that Metallica's turning point was after Cliff Burton died, and they slowly declined in quality. This file-sharing ******** is insanely hypocritical, and I've lost a lot of respect for Metallica because of it.

[MAX]

Hello, I was told there would be hairy ballbags in here? I'm here for the hairy ballbags.

*waits patiently*

p.s., Metallica hasn't been good in a really long time...

[Darc Requiem]

I am glad I'm in a office by myself, you had me laughing my ass of with that one MAX.

[Lucas]

Having a general dislike of metal anyway, I'll agree. **** those hypocritical bastards.

[Smokey]

Having a general dislike of metal anyway,

-Picture of angry Bob Barker with a "GTFO" caption.-

[blokeymon]

^ Couldn't agree more Smokey.

+300 respect

[Lizzaroni]

MC Lars, "Download This Song."

[MR EPIC]

Hello, I was told there would be hairy ballbags in here? I'm here for the hairy ballbags.

*waits patiently*

p.s., Metallica hasn't been good in a really long time...

This has got LMAO written all over it. :D

[ReaganYouth]

Metallica broke up when Reagan left office, as far as I'm concerned.

That said, their new album isn't half bad. But there's no way in hell I'm paying money for it.

[blokeymon]

Nothing good since "...And justice for all".

Anyone who disagrees should die in a fire.

[ReaganYouth]

To be completely honest, And Justice For All didn't really do it for me. I dug the anarchist themes, but the music just came off as the guys in Metallica trying too hard to impress people with their technical ability. I don't have a problem with musicianship, but if it takes away from the impact of the music it just comes across as pretentious and annoying. And also, the sound was thin as paper and completely lacked lower treble. The previous 3 albums (Kill Em All, Ride the Lightning (my personal fave), and Master of Puppets) beat the living **** out of And Justice For All.

But Death Magnetic isn't so bad. At least it wasn't as bad as St. Anger (ugh!).

[MR EPIC]

Wow Reagan, I'm impressed. You seem to know your **** and not just accept anything a band throws at you.

[ReaganYouth]

^I'm a (crappy) musician myself, so yeah. I know how it is. :P

[Smokey]

So one day you could sell as well as Metallica?

[MR EPIC]

Only if you compare his sales to the sales of "And Justice for All". :P *Runs from Blokey*

[Smokey]

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o62/brentlarsen1986/lollercaust.gif

[ReaganYouth]

http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o62/brentlarsen1986/lollercaust.gif

That is just wrong!

[Smokey]

It was funny, though.:D

[Hottotty]

Still, for a bunch of grandpas, the new album is really fun to listen to.

Metallica ftw

[Sascha-AMN]

To be completely honest, And Justice For All didn't really do it for me. I dug the anarchist themes, but the music just came off as the guys in Metallica trying too hard to impress people with their technical ability. I don't have a problem with musicianship, but if it takes away from the impact of the music it just comes across as pretentious and annoying. And also, the sound was thin as paper and completely lacked lower treble. The previous 3 albums (Kill Em All, Ride the Lightning (my personal fave), and Master of Puppets) beat the living **** out of And Justice For All.

But Death Magnetic isn't so bad. At least it wasn't as bad as St. Anger (ugh!).

Damn! Reagan summed up my thoughts on 'And Justice for All' perfectly. I used to consider Metallica's 80s material as hands-down their best stuff. As Ive matured, Ive come to accept that the Black Album is actually their best work. It comes down to the maturity of their musicianship, and the honesty of the work. Fade to Black is actually still my favorite Metallica song to this day, and that song - despite coming years ahead of time - actually shares a lot more with the gothic melodies and rumbling bass undertones of the Black Album than anything else from their 80s albums save maybe 'One' (but as Reagan pointed out, the mixing on that album was so god awful, that the entire lower-end was basically lost).

Metallica has ****ing awesome guitar-work. Everyone knows that. But playing guitars as loud and fast as possible, while unarguably fun for awhile, ultimately loses its impact. There are TONS of thrash metal bands that have come and gone that could play at least as fast as Kirk and James, but it was ultimately phrasing, pacing and melody that separated Metallica (and to a lesser degree, Megadeth) from the pack. In Justice for All, the songs lost that for the most part. They were still good, and still impressive feats of technical skill, but every song felt like an overly long masturbation session for the band members. Yes, we get it, you can play very fast, very intricately. By the end of each 9 minute song, you were on the cusp of being bored with the song. You should never feel that way. You should feel, satisfied and maybe even exhausted, but always ready to hear the song again. As it happens, AJFA proved to Metallica themselves that they had come as far as they could go on playing fast, loud and intricately alone, and had to take some new steps in terms of song-writing, experimentation, and production in order to hit the next level.

The Black Album doesnt really have a bad or boring song on it. Some are better than others, and some suit different people's tastes, but they're all musically great. The guitar work is not only top notch, its also intelligent - every chord, crescendo and solo means something, its not simply fast guitars for the sake of fast guitars. James also hit his peak in terms of singing and song-writing at this point, even if the themes were a little less complex. The fact that there was actually base helped too. Of course, after the Black Album the entire music scene was turned on its head by Nirvana and the rise of alternative rock. Metal was always that 'other' alternative, and the success of the Black Album in an alternative-rock-loving market proves that Metallica probably could have churned out more of that kind of music and still found success. As it happened, they skewed even further away from Metal and into Alt Rock territory and lost a lot of fans as a result. Metallica is a great metal band, but they're not a great alt rock band.

Anyway, Metallica are definitely hypocrites for trying to keep their work from being shared digitally after benefiting so much from tape trading (and now coming out in favor of it), but they were hardly the only ones. Furthermore, they had a lot less to do with the death of Napster than the RIAA did, and the RIAA was supported by tons of different artists across all types of genres who wanted to keep all of the money they felt they were being robbed of. I don't know how I would act if I were in their situation, its easy to say I wouldn't mind losing a certain amount of money once I was so wealthy, but I really don't know. I respect Metallica for their earlier work (and this latest CD, which is pretty damn good), I respect them for helping to legitimize metal to a larger audience (before basically abandoning metal altogether). I downloaded their latest album off bit-torrent, but Ive already got tickets to their show in Vancouver, where Ill probably end up buying some merchandise and making up the difference.

[ReaganYouth]

I dunno. I'm not saying Black Album was bad. It had some great songs (particularly the first 3), but it had some truly awful ones too. Don't Tread on Me and Nothing Else Matters immediately come to mind.

As for the sell out question, yes. They DID sell out. That much is undeniable. The entire Napster fiasco (they were already rich as **** by the time Napster came around, so there's no excuse especially since in the beginning underground distribution helped them far more than MTV ever did) and their post-Black Album comments ("yes we did sell out, each and every date of the tour!") are exhibits A and B. After that, alternative rock broke through thanks to Nirvana and fake punk bands like Green Day. So Metallica milked that cow for all it was worth. And now that they've made their money, they come crawling back to their old fanbase in a desperate attempt to prove their relevance to them.

That said, Death Magnetic is a great album. But I'm not paying for it.

[Smokey]

I dunno. I'm not saying Black Album was bad. It had some great songs (particularly the first 3), but it had some truly awful ones too. Don't Tread on Me and Nothing Else Matters immediately come to mind.

Nothing Else Matters was a great song. I can understand you not liking it if you only want a straight metal sound, but it's still a good song regardless.

[ReaganYouth]

^God, your taste in music SUCKS.

For realz. Turn off MTV for a while (or forever) and search for some real music.

[Smokey]

I don't have MTV. And my taste sucks? Never mind, I won't even get started. I don't care how provocative Blokey's thread title is, anything I respond with end up getting quite messy. I'll just give you a raincheck for the impending apocalypse I shall bring down upon your pointy head.:P

[ReaganYouth]

^Yeah, joo lyk nu metalz!!!!

[Smokey]

I like most metalz. What's your point?

[ReaganYouth]

Death Metal and Grindcore

[Smokey]

I'm not even sure what Grindcore is, and there is nothing wrong with Death Metal. Certain bands, yes, but there's nothing wrong with the genre. If not for Death Metal, Doom Metal never would have happened and Paradise Lost would not have been formed, and part of me would be dead inside.

[virion]

I'm not even sure what Grindcore is, and there is nothing wrong with Death Metal. Certain bands, yes, but there's nothing wrong with the genre. If not for Death Metal, Doom Metal never would have happened and Paradise Lost would not have been formed, and part of me would be dead inside.

paradise lost is 'the cure' of doom metal.

[Smokey]

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, honestly, as I've never listened to The Cure.

[Sascha-AMN]

Nothing Else Matters is a great song Reagan. Its not a loud, aggressive, fast or intricate song, but its well put together and does what it sets out to do (which is to be moving) very well.

My favorite metal band to date is still Machine Head though.

[virion]

nothing else matters is one of the only songs i like by metallica.

[Smokey]

Hmm, I'm not sure what my favorite metal group would be. If I had to give an answer right now, it would either be Iron Maiden or Firewind.

[virion]

there are so many different styles of metal though.. i like fear factory and monster magnet.

[ReaganYouth]

Some of you need to throw away your Green Day cds and stop wearing so much god damn make up. Listen to some real manly music like Slayer and older Metallica. Rawr.

[Smokey]

there are so many different styles of metal though.. i like fear factory and monster magnet.

I know, that's what makes it so hard.:doh:

Some of you need to throw away your Green Day cds and stop wearing so much god damn make up. Listen to some real manly music like Slayer and older Metallica. Rawr.

Psh, Firewind kicks Slayer's ass. I don't care if they're two different kinds of metal.

[blokeymon]

Paradise Lost formed in Sheffield, a mere bus journey from where I live.

Also, the lead singer (Nick Rhodes, I think, can't remember) is a complete and utter ****ing arrogant asshatted ballsack sucking ****ing douchebag.

They played my local rock club A LOT in the early days, and he was such a wanker. Fans were often told to "**** off" when asking for autographs, and I remember hearing him say to one young lass "If you're not gonna suck my dick, get the **** out of my face" as he paraded around the club like he owned the place.

Of all the celebrities that I've met (mainly rock stars, as I used to work at said club, and actually met, drank, and chatted, to bands such as GWAR, Skid Row, Fear Factory, Tura Satana, Quiet Riot, Anthrax, Skunk Anansie, Pitchshifter, and many many more), there has only been one that I've ever thought was undeserving of their fans, and its Paradise ****ing ****ty Lost.

Goddamn....

And yes, those bands up there, I have met, drank and chatted with. Best times of my goddamn life. Except the Paradise Lost times. They blew ass.

[HGW XX/7]

Sorry about the title edit. It should've happened long ago.

[Smokey]

Paradise Lost formed in Sheffield, a mere bus journey from where I live.

Also, the lead singer (Nick Rhodes, I think, can't remember) is a complete and utter ****ing arrogant asshatted ballsack sucking ****ing douchebag.

They played my local rock club A LOT in the early days, and he was such a wanker. Fans were often told to "**** off" when asking for autographs, and I remember hearing him say to one young lass "If you're not gonna suck my dick, get the **** out of my face" as he paraded around the club like he owned the place.

Of all the celebrities that I've met (mainly rock stars, as I used to work at said club, and actually met, drank, and chatted, to bands such as GWAR, Skid Row, Fear Factory, Tura Satana, Quiet Riot, Anthrax, Skunk Anansie, Pitchshifter, and many many more), there has only been one that I've ever thought was undeserving of their fans, and its Paradise ****ing ****ty Lost.

Goddamn....

And yes, those bands up there, I have met, drank and chatted with. Best times of my goddamn life. Except the Paradise Lost times. They blew ass.

It's Nick Holmes, BTW. And you met GWAR and Anthrax? Can I kiss your ring?

I still like Paradise Lost's music. Nothing you say will change that.

[ReaganYouth]

It's Nick Holmes, BTW. And you met GWAR and Anthrax? Can I kiss your ring?

I still like Paradise Lost's music. Nothing you say will change that.

Yeah but some artists just deserve to go bankrupt. Bono and Billie Joe Armstrong are two of them, and Nick Holmes is another.

[Smokey]

Though I don't particularly care for U2's music, Bono is a great human being. Wishing bankruptcy on him is like hoping that Mother Theresa would die by horserape.

And I'd be interested in hearing why you think Nick Holmes is such an asshole and why Paradise Lost doesn't deserve to have its music sell. Blokey's met the guy. What's your story?

[ReaganYouth]

Though I don't particularly care for U2's music, Bono is a great human being. Wishing bankruptcy on him is like hoping that Mother Theresa would die by horserape.

And I'd be interested in hearing why you think Nick Holmes is such an asshole and why Paradise Lost doesn't deserve to have its music sell. Blokey's met the guy. What's your story?

Have you even read Bono's interviews? The dude has an ego the size of Canada, for ****s sake.

And I hate Nick Holmes for the same reasons Blokey does. And no I haven't met him.

Arrogance FTL

[HGW XX/7]

Sorry Smokey, but it wouldn't sadden me if Bono really did go bankrupt. Maybe then he could actually do something to help those people in need.

Y'know. Leading by example rather than just throwing money at it and being like, "I'm so good! You should feel bad that you aren't giving money away to people when you can't afford it. Teach a man to fish? Screw that, I want YOU to give them fish. Nevermind that I have tons of money..."

[ReaganYouth]

Yep, Bono is a sperm waste confirmed.

[Smokey]

Have you even read Bono's interviews? The dude has an ego the size of Canada, for ****s sake.

And I hate Nick Holmes for the same reasons Blokey does. And no I haven't met him.

Arrogance FTL

Have you considered the idea that this ego's existence MIGHT be justified? I mean, he's only the frontman of one of the most popular recording bands in existence. Also, I don't really consider hatred based off of someone else's hatred to be very...well, intelligent.

@Sean: In cases like this, I consider the deed to be more important than the motivation. Who cares why he's doing it? The fact is that he thought it was important enough to give that money in the first place. He could have easily held onto that money and stashed in some Swiss bank account and those people would have received no assistance whatsoever.

[germ011]

Have you considered the idea that this ego's existence MIGHT be justified? I mean, he's only the frontman of one of the most popular recording bands in existence. Also, I don't really consider hatred based off of someone else's hatred to be very...well, intelligent.

@Sean: In cases like this, I consider the deed to be more important than the motivation. Who cares why he's doing it? The fact is that he thought it was important enough to give that money in the first place. He could have easily held onto that money and stashed in some Swiss bank account and those people would have received no assistance whatsoever.

that doesnt mean ****, mate. arrogance should never be acceptable, no matter how justified it is.

[Smokey]

There is a difference between arrogance and self-confidence guys. Bono has never struck me as an arrogant person, even though displays of Death Star-size ego would be perfectly justifiable. He's always seemed fairly down to earth to me. Damned sure of himself, but not arrogant.

[blokeymon]

He does have too large a sense of self worth, as if he means more to the world than anyone else. But then again, he's done a fair bit of work.

However, Nick from Paradise Lost is nothing more than an oxygen thief, and the sooner he's deed, the better.

Also, GWAR are awesome, as are Anthrax.

[Blackout]

Bono sucks. I hate that guy.

If you got rid of Lars Metallica wouldn't be so bad (I'm talking about personality wise). It seems like Lars makes most of the egotistical and dumb statements. James and Kirk seem to be pretty decent guys. Lars still thinks Metallica is the be-all-end-all of metal, which they never have been in the first place.

[Smokey]

C'mon, give 'em credit. In the early days, Metallica WAS the ultimate metal band. I personally think they started spiraling once Trujillo signed on.